Holidays Make Me Cheat! :/

Holidays make me cheat!

I love a good holiday weekend with my family as much as the rest of you. I mean what is not to love, more time to sleep the F in!! (sweet precious sleep! I only sleep about 5 hours a night during the week so any extra sleep I get is like winning the damn lottery!) But why oh WHY does the holiday weekend also make me cheat on my eating plan? (these holiday weekends have me like “eating plan shmeating plan!” LOL!) And yes, I do mean MAKE me cheat…lord knows I would never knowingly cheat myself. It is all a force of holiday nature!

So this past weekend I ate pancakes. Well maybe I should clarify, they were gluten free pancakes, but still syrup was all over the plate. And I quickly sopped up any syrup excess with my numerous pieces of bacon. Then we had a birthday so I ate two, count them TWO cupcakes. Tacos, and refried beans were also in the mix. Totally ridiculous! I am pretty sure I could go on….. at least when we went bowling I managed to have a salad…. I think the greens were a shock to my system at that point!

I do better with routine. I eat pretty much the same things on the same schedule every day. Throw a holiday weekend and time at me and apparently I throw in the eating plan towel!

I’ve said I am laser focused on my fitness goals but I think I must say that in a “fake it until you make it” type of way. What else could it be?

No more holidays for me for a while for the love of sweet baby Jesus!!

Sometimes I Just Don't Want To.....

Sometimes, I just don’t want to…..

Sometimes no amount of, “come on…this is good for you! You will feel better, look better, be more healthy, and build a better body” internal pep talks make me want to work out. I cannot be alone in this inner debate. Admit it, sometimes you just don’t want to either.

#thestruggleisreal

Sometimes I get stressed out by the mere thought of still having my work out to do at the end of my day. I am a night worker… to be honest, I am a night person period. But being a working mom/wife of a million kids, at night, on my time, is the only time I have. And I find myself pulling on my work out clothes thinking about how much this all sucks and I just don’t want to.

#thissucks

Sometimes I feel like none of this is working anyway and this whole “some progress is progress, keep going” crap is just that, crap. So I should just lay down in my bed that loves me and relax with a book, my hubby, and our puppies. After all, it has been a long day.

#mybedlovesme

 Sometimes I think, you’re fat. Some people are just fat. You have a strong inner fat kid that refuses to die. Maybe that f’er deserves to live after all the ways you have tried to kill it. So just do not work out today.

#powertotheinnerfatkid

Sometimes I think, well, you ate about 4 small pieces of dark chocolate today. The eating plan is shot so why not give up entirely today and forget that dang work out? Seems logical

#darkchocolatecallstome

Sometimes, I just do not want to MOVE IT MOVE IT

#watchedtoomanykidmovies

But then I remember, these are all the reasons that you have to drag your ass to that gym, pump some heavy reps, and get some sort of cardio in. Because you will hate yourself if you don’t. This easy road is what got you to looking this way and feeling this way, remember that lady?

Sometimes you just don’t want to, but you do. And that is all that matters…..

Fitness Moms = Wonder Woman

Fitness moms…sometimes I think we deserve an award. Every single time we finish a workout, while dealing with the world’s problems through a child’s eyes, someone should magically appear with a trophy and a speech all about our fabulous worth. (I might be being dramatic here, sue me!)

I am sure some moms have it all together, scheduled and easy. I am not one of those moms. These are not excuses because I make it work regardless, but I think I identify with those moms that get it done in all kinds of F’ed up ways. Nothing in my house seems to go as planned, not usually any way. We have 5 crazy active kids. They are the best, but nothing about being a working mom of 5 kiddos is what I would call an easy walk in the park. I love it when people say, you just have to make yourself a priority. I am like where? Should I not get to work on time, or should I not spend time with my kids? Which one? LOL J So instead I sacrifice my sleep because those hours are the only ones that are actually mine. I want to be a sexy fitness badass so not sleeping is okay with me, but I am not about to sit here and make it seem like being a fitness mom is this yellow brick road of easy. (and yes, I wish bad things on those working mommies that make it all seem like cake! Not really….. well, mostly!)

I get up at 4:15 to get myself ready before I get the kids up & start their days which means that any type of fasted cardio is out of the question. I actually did lose my mind for a hot minute and tried fasted cardio at 3:30AM (AM people!) a few times. Yeah completely not worth it. I was exhausted by about 5PM which meant my pump session at 9PM either was a disaster or just did not happen. (awe friggin rats!) Some parts of trying to be a great fitness mommy are out of my reach. And I’ve had to come to terms with that fact.

But the few things I can control, I work hard to do so. I can control my nutrition. (still working on my simple carb control! I love love love stupid simple carbs! L) And I can control how consistent I am with my workouts, making the most of the time I have allotted. I do not skip workouts (although some are better than others! Let’s be honest!).

So if no one has told you fitness Moms just how Wonder Woman like you are for putting it all together daily, take it from someone in the trenches with you, YOU FRIGGIN RAWK! Keep on keeping on, you’ll get there!

Embrace the SUCK! :)

Finding what eating plan works for YOU sucks! Let’s be honest! Why can’t the exact same eating plan work for every single person, and the ones that can stay with the plan will be gloriously fit, ripped, toned, have muscle gains, or whatever your happy place in your body happens to be. Someone, please tell me why it cannot be just that simple!?

One of the problems in finding success in your eating plan is figuring out which “expert” plan/information to take on for yourself. With the internet, we have so much more information than ever before, which only seems to lead to mass confusion. One person says every serious dieter needs to be counting macros. Another “expert” will exclaim the paleo lifestyle is the only real way to stick to a plan lifelong. Others will say just count your calories, or take away carbs, or just watch your portions. On and on and on… until you are so confused, you just give up. It is a little bit insane….

Here is what I have learned from changing my diet about a million times….. LISTEN TO YOURSELF! Start a plan…which ever plan seems like it is doable (this is important. If it seems overwhelmingly undoable, then you will likely not stick to the plan. Like I cannot be told what I will eat for each meal. Those plans turn me off immediately. So I don’t even try to do those.) Get on that plan & stick with that damn thing like super glue! No varying off for at least 10 days. On day 10, hop on the scale to see what has happened. If you have lost weight, then great! You are lucky, this plan is working for you so keep on keeping on. If you have not lost weight (and you’ve been honestly sticking to it, glue remember?), then this is not the plan for you. Move onto something else. You could tweak it some or just try another “expert’s” eating plan.

I wanted to count macros. I did the endless research (because that shit is confusing when you first start!), had my macros calculated (like a million times to make sure I was getting common results) & started eating according to my macros. It was really tough. And I GAINED weight! Seriously!?!?! I will be honest, I was pissed! But really this plan was just not for me. (and yes, I am sure somehow I was screwing it up, but it doesn’t matter. That just further confirms it was not the plan for me!) Moving ON!

The only thing that has worked for me is to stick to eating: protein, veggies, & fruit. Period. I have my best results when I stick to eating this way. THANK YOU baby Jesus! Finally down pounds after being on a plateau for months (after losing 25 pounds)!

So embrace the suck & figure out what works for YOU! J

These are JUST Gym Clothes, Right?

“You should really think about investing in a pair of Lululumon pants”…..now, any time we are talking about workout clothes, and you throw in the word “invest”, you’ve lost me. These are clothes I get good and sweaty in right? I mean we are talking about the clothes I wipe my sweaty face off with or my hands when I find somehow in the middle chiseling a new bod, I’ve also picked up some crud & I wipe them off on my pants…right? We are talking about clothes for these dirty, sweaty activities? Then do NOT say the word invest, because I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!

Now, don’t get me wrong… I’ve heard the Lulu clothes are great and I am quite sure they are, but you will not find my sweaty fanny in them. I refuse to pay that much for clothes that frankly I would likely be too afraid to mess up while I am getting my pump on in my garage gym.

I love workout clothes. I always have. I would stay in workout clothes day in and day out if I could. And I do have quite the workout clothes collection (as any self- respecting gym rat should!) It is actually a little bit insane. But I probably have never paid more than $25 or any one piece. (usually a lot less actually) So, where do I get my clothes:

·         Academy is probably my number 1 go to place for workout gear. They have their own brand & I happen to love it! It is so much cheaper but it works great & lasts! (most pieces are $14-$24)

·         My next go to is actually regular t-shirts. I get great t-shirts that I love and then make my own edits to make them my clutch workout shirts. (you know edits: lose the sleeves, cut the neck, and lastly the bottom = bye bye)

·         Target! Who doesn’t L O V E  target’s workout section?

·         Ebay…yes I said ebay…I get some of the more expensive pieces I simply have to have on ebay. They are loads cheaper but you can get most with the tags still on! (this is where I get my really awesome sport bras for my lady lumps! Gotta support these babies the right way! lol )

Now this refers to the workout clothes…..my shoes are a whole other matter entirely. I actually DO spend money on my shoes. Gotta do it. The shoes can effect everything else – your feet, legs, back, shoulders…just every part of the bod. But I do get some of my shoes from the kids section because I have small feet which makes them, you guessed it, CHEAPER.

I love workout stuff, but invest likely will never be in my vocabulary.

 

 

Breaking the Habit....damn it!

Breaking the habit….. damn it!

 

I am what we call a serious creature of habit. It is strange and enclosing. I mean seriously, who can eat the same breakfast day in and day out AND kept the same job for 10 years through their entire 20s? No one! I am the type of person that likes things to be the same over and over. I think that makes me feel so wrapped in the softest blanket of safety. It is firm! No surprises. Habit can be so limiting though. And honestly, I just figured this out about me at the ripest of age, 38. Self awareness much? Or nah?

So how did I figure out my habitual habit issue? My f’ing workouts! I got a plan from a supposed trainer (it was an online trainer so who the hell knows what’s actually true!) And I have been doing it without giving it much thought since then. And my cardio doesn’t change much either. You hear people say all the time that in order to see great change, you have to become so freakishly uncomfortable as to create something super shiny brand new in yourself.  But that is a quote that is easy to say, harder to put into action. I like my workout plan. I like eating the same breakfast every single day. And right there is my warm fuzzy blanket syndrome. Let’s go lady, drop the blanket & step into the skimpy swimsuit! Okay? Hello!

I have to live my fitness journey more out of intent than habit. I intend to be awesomely fit. Therefore, I have to shake it all up. I have to keep the parts that are working to move me forward and drop kick the crap I do just to stay in my blankie! Time to really revamp it all. And see something so new in me. Which will eventually have me looking less like a 38 year old mom and hopefully more like my husband’s sexy ass wife = ageless!

Bye bye habits! (most of them anyway! Let's not get tooo crazy J )

My Fitness Journey is annoying, I know

My fitness journey is annoying me. I can only imagine how it annoys those around me. Everyone that is successful in their own journey to thin muscular perfection says you have to become obsessed to actually make it. And F me if that is not so damn true. What am I eating, what should I be eating, when should I eat it….what is my workout focus today…what should my focus be…when the F is this fat going to magically disappear? Jesus H Christ! Thus obsession is born.

Having a trainer is likely ideal, but I like to do things the hard way. (or I am too cheap to spend the money, which ever) So when I am not laser focused on my eating or my workouts, then I am pouring over websites and books to educate myself. Who knew this would be so tough? Especially at my age (10,000 years old!) When I was 23 I lost like 50 pounds after the birth of my first child. I stopped eating most things, didn’t eat after 6pm, lifted weights, and took kick boxing 3 days a week. BOOM! 50 pounds down, no thing. Um, Houston, we have a problem!

So I have decided what I am doing now is not working the way I would like it to, that means it is adjustment time. I am still going to lift on my split routine like I have been. I am still going to increase my volume and then my weight as I should. But now on my days off from lifting (Wednesdays and Saturdays) I am going to do an hour long cardio session instead of lifting more on those days like I have been. We will see if that increases my fat burning effects.

I have also enlisted the help of a dietitian. I got an eating plan for weightloss from her. I am going to follow this plan to the T. (at least 95% of the time anyway!) The plan has me eating lean proteins, veggies, and limited carbs (fruit and nuts mostly) This shit is going to F’ing work! Or I will be more annoying with more changes!

See! Obsessed and annoying. I know, I know….

FAT, get off my body already!!