Alli's Journey

I remember the day Alli was born...she was such a wonderful baby. She was happy to sleep, she was always smiling, she knew sign language, spoke early...she was every single thing a parent could ask for. I had just gone through what could have been cancer that ended my ability to have babies, so I was over the moon about Alli. Then one day everything about her seemed to change......

Alli had very specific eating habits. There were things she just did not eat. Sweets was a big one and so was bread. This is from the time she started eating solid foods on. This might not seem pertinent information, but hang on...I'll tie it all together.

Then around the age of 3 to 4, I began to notice almost a complete personality change in my sweet angel face Al. She would attack Kaylee for no reason and with no provocation. The longer the attacks went on, the more vicious they became. It was strange and out of character for Alli. Alli never really attacked anyone before that. Once I walked into the room just as Alli tried to stab Kaylee in the face with a pencil. Violent for certain. It got to where I simply could not turn my back on Alli.

Al also started having sleeping issues. This coming from the kid that would stand next to her crib and say "Alli sleep now". She was always a wonderful sleeper and really loved her sleep. But now I would wake up in the middle of the night to find her standing over me. She would not say anything, just stand there. I also noticed signs of her walking around the house at night.

And there were other things....Alli started eating paper. She began to only want to eat certain things, like chips. She would become very upset if she could not eat what it is that she requested. And she would cried hysterically for little to no reason at all. She seemed so different and sad.

I finally took Alli to see a psychiatrist. And little did I know, this is when things would start to go down hill fast & furious.

They started Alli on one med. It was a little dose and I honestly believe the doctor thought this would be all she needed, and she would be fine. Back to normal. I think looking back now, it only aggravated what Alli was experiencing.

More meds would come and Alli only seemed to be getting worse. She stopped sleeping all together. She would sleep for like 3 hours a night. She would ask me why she had to get into bed because she knew she could not sleep. It was maddening. So they prescribed something else. In the end, Alli was taking 4 medications that come out to about 1000 milligrams a day and she was only barely hanging on to her sanity. It was horrible to watch this little beautiful girl who was so sweet and full of life, become someone who cried all the time, who was so sad, and who I could not really let out of my sight.

School was almost unbearable. She was extremely frightened to be there and spent most of her first 3 years of school in a separate place. Alli ended up taking 1st grade twice. Nothing seemed to be helping her retain the information she was trying to learn, when she was not under the desk crying that is. School was just too overwhelming for her. We thought many times about removing her. We just did not know what to do.

Alli was also diagnosed with a seizure disorder as well. I took her to a neurologist that did about a thousand tests and not only diagnosed her with seizures but also confirmed that he thought Alli had serious emotional problems.

Side note: the people who lived with me through all this, will tell you I am skimming over the pain of the entire situation. Her pain, my pain....it was so heavy I thought it might crush us both at times. It was devastating to see your little girl crying non stop and there was nothing you could do to help her. I could not make the sadness go away. I could not see or get a grip on what would be her solution. There were times she could not leave the house. I think we all felt like a prisoner of the house and of Alli's illness at times. And I grieved Alli. I grieved the child I thought I had....I grieved the child I thought I had lost. I grieved for the future I thought she would never ever have. When Alli was one years old, she could count to 30, she was happy, and almost bouncy. Now she cried more than she smiled and I felt so lost and alone with her and for her. The feelings during this time are hard to accurately put into words. You almost have to have lived it.....

I finally decided it was the meds. They were agitating her, they were causing memory issues, possibly causing the seizures, and if not, they were not helping. So we began a two year process of getting Alli off the meds. We started with the anti-seizure med that I contributed her not being able to sleep toward. This was the one med I was never really sure of and I wanted her off of it. We only would removed meds while she was on summer break from school so that is why it took so long.

After taking Alli off two of the meds, she was a completely different person. She was happy again. She smiled and she interacted more with the world around her. I was slowly getting Alli back and I cannot describe to you in words how that felt. I cannot tell you what it meant to see the joy on her face. And it confirmed for me what I felt to now be the truth, it was the meds at least partly.

But if the worsening of her issues was the meds, what was the cause of all the issues before she began the meds? This question would linger in my mind.....

Alli was able to go to school for the entire year for the first time in her life. Everyone at school was completely amazed. They all commented that she seemed to be someone else entirely. Finally Alli was happy to go to school. She liked it....it was remarkable.

But, Alli was sick too. The first thing we noticed was that she suddenly dropped a lot of weight. We thought maybe it was due to her not being on some of the meds (one of the side effects of the main med was being stimulated to eat). But she also diarrhea every single day, along with sharp stomach pains. She began gushing blood out her nose on almost a daily basis. These nose bleeds would pour out of her nose for 10 minutes or more. It was scary. Then came the daily headaches and all the bruises. Once the bruises showed up all over her body...her hands, her legs, her torso...every single place, I realized this was more than the meds, she was sick. Very sick. But with what now?

Finally I decided Al needed to see a hematologist. And I can say, we were very worried we were dealing with the Big C. Leukemia came to mind. I knew in my mind that it was not likely, but my heart could hardly stand the mere idea. The first thing they did was an in office test for it. She did not have it. (THANK GOD!) But what was the problem? They knew something was really wrong, but they seem stumped. We had to wait for all the blood work.

In the mean time, Alli ended up in the hospital. She was very prone to Staph infections. She usually was hospitalized with it at least once a year. We thought we were dealing with yet another infection and she was admitted. Of course we had to explain to the doctor why Alli was covered in bruises. And what happened next, I can only attribute to the good Lord above....... The doctor listened to us talk about what Alli had been experiencing and then it just stared at me. He finally asked if I was Scottish. I said yes. He said Alli had Celiac Disease. And with statement, all of our lives changed but none more than Alli's.

It came to light that my father's family has a history of Celiac Disease........and now a whole lot of things make perfect sense. Now Alli hating bread and refusing to eat it from a baby on made perfect sense. Alli will even tell you that she thinks the smell of bread stinks....to this day she almost refuses to go down the bread isle in the store. I know it is her body rejecting what harms it.

Celiac Disease, for those that do not know, is basically an allergy to wheat/barley. Their bodies cannot take it and actually attack it's own digestive system. Over time, the intestines are rendered unable to recover nutrients from the eaten food because it becomes slick with no celia. This causes a shit storm of symptoms that are unique to each individual person. But some symptoms are universal, like sharp stomach pains and loose stool. Eventually, left untreated by a strict no gluten diet (gluten is what celiacs are allergic to in wheat/barely) the person will develop cancer. Either a myriad of different stomach/intestine cancers or throat cancer due to a lifetime of reflux will develop.

Slowly we worked gluten out of our house. It is not as easy as some would think but it isn't as difficult as some believe either. We started with 5 things we knew contained gluten and got them out of the house. Finding suitable replacements took some research. Lord buying any new type of food or recipe takes some research. But it becomes second nature to check the label of all foods and to watch for symptoms when introducing a new foods into their diet. We just kept working our way outward, eliminating more and more gluten filled foods, until there was no gluten left. And almost like magic, Alli and Kaylee got better...so much better...

 

 



Alli was physically better, but she was mentally much better as well. She seemed to have a clarity of thought she had not had in quite some time. At this point, she was still on 2 of the 4 medications she was prescribed. And we knew it was time to get her off completely. Her mystery had been solved as far as we were concerned. There is research that states that Celiac Disease can cause many different and at times very pronounced mental illness. Alli was sick, but not in the way we thought.

Alli finished her last medication almost a year ago now. We were easily able to take her off the rest of her meds last summer. She became more and more herself with each and every day. I cannot tell you how we would almost burst at the seams every time she would make a joke or make sense out of something the other kids did not understand. These are things she was not capable of since the age of 4. Now Alli is Alli.....she isn't a the mental disease we thought would ruin her....she isn't a mystery no one understood (even her many doctors), she is just a little girl who laughs and loves and goes to school and enjoys life...all things she could not be before.

The reality of the medications Alli took is that she basically does not remember huge chunks of the years before she got released from her medicated prison. As far as her education is concerned, that is difficult. She is behind, but last year and this year she has made what the school has remarked as remarkable strides in catching up to her classmates. She never gives up and she works very hard. It is not always easy but her easy going personality helps her to accept what is and keep moving forward.

For the moms: I cannot tell you what watching her suffer felt like.....I am sure there are mothers out there who's children have some sort of mental or physical illness that know exactly what I mean. I was scared to ever have Alli away from me, & eventually Joey, because we were her safety. She felt like her mind was not her own but I think she felt like as long as we were with her, she would be okay. (hence the reason school was so difficult). The kids rallied around Alli at all times. Her brother would come to her class when she was screaming and crying. Kaylee was summoned to do the same when she started school. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it did not. And when it didn't, the kids would feel terrible.....especially Dalton. He knew there was something so sad about Alli....and when she would cry, Dalton and Kaylee would just wrap her up in love. It was through this illness that we became a total & complete team. Everyone kept an eye on Alli (she would wonder towards streets when playing at the park & things like that while on the medication). I guess you could say we all were on high alert. But together, we got through it.

A more in depth theory of what was happening to Alli that made her start to have psychotic type episodes is two fold. I know the gluten was starting to give Al mental instability. But, I have found something I believe may have been what pushed Alli over the limit....she had Mono right before all this really started. When Alli was 3, she got Mono. I have read research that states that when small children get Mono, it can cause mental issues & psychotic episodes. So she already had the instability with the gluten issues and the Mono just pushed her over the edge. I struggle with the knowledge that if I had waited, she might have eventually been back to normal. Sometimes I think I did this to her.

But, like Alli, all I can do now is be very super careful of medications (we opt for vitamins and natural healing for almost everything now) and accept what is and move forward. Seeing her bright shining face daily makes that a little bit easier....

Side note: There is a series of events if you will that led to us finding out what was really wrong with Alli and making her better....it started with a renewal of my Faith. I finally turned to Him and said, I cannot do this alone. I am turning it over to You...and He found me Joey. Joey played a huge huge huge part in getting Alli off the meds. He gave me the strength of hope. Joey said she would be okay and if she wasn't then we would keep looking until we found a real solution. I was so afraid Alli would get worse instead of better without the meds. Joey assured me we could do this......and with that, we did...he did...He oversaw the schedule of titrating her down. Without Joey, I doubt we would be where we are today. God had a plan for us, and when I finally decided I could not do this, He did.

My sweey angel face Alli.....

Just another day in paradise......

There is no Arizona....did you know?

This might start out a little bit cheesy, but stay with me, I am going somewhere.....

"He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona
Underneath the blue never ending sky, swore that he was gonna
Get things in order, he'd send for her
When he left her behind, it never crossed her mind

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona"

There is no Arizona and man it was a while before I realized that much. Here I was, an relatively intelligent and educated woman and I bought the Arizona line over and over from men. How in heck did that happen? I can tell you how......but let's not skip to the end.

My "Arizona" came in several forms from a couple of really good, lying, and selling men. I was promised a million things that just never seemed to happen. But the excuses, they were good.

      "Where did this money go?
        Well, Jack needed some money so I lent it to him. I am not sure when he will be able to
        get it back to us, but I am sure he will. "

All sounds up to par right? NO, OH MY GOD NO! It is not okay. Life long liars are good because they dial into what makes up the person they are selling Arizona to and then they exploit that fact. They turn what makes you up, how your personality ticks (so to speak), and what is in your heart (like always wanting to help others in their time of need) into their personal grab bag of "how to lie to you". It is a little fascinating actually. Pathological liars are quick reads of people and their personalities. In no time flat, they know you and how to get one over on you. If only they would use their "talents" for good instead of evil.....

But eventually all liars are found out, especially by the people close to them. It is hard to lie your butt off daily and remember all the lies. They break down and get caught. Inconsistency is their kriptonite. So how do these liars maintain relationships with the very people that frequently catch them in their tales?

Well, the answer is easy.....

Liars are able to maintain relationships because the other person wants to believe them. It is that simple. The "other person" 's actions of writing the lies off or excusing the behavior is nothing more than their will to want to believe what this liar is telling them is actually true. And that action says more than them than the liar. It usually means they have personal issues, such as self esteem issues or other issues that prevent them from walking when they realize the first time they are in a relationship with someone that cannot be honest. (sounds like I know what I am talking about huh?? You could say I am well versed in the subject) And, as we all are told our entire lives, without honesty (which equals trust) then you have nothing. If you know you have nothing, then what are you hanging onto?

The problem almost every dishonest person faces is that the "other person" finally is forced to face themselves, how they have been dishonest with their own self, and ultimately face that the liar never truly was what they believed. Nothing was real. And if nothing was ever real, then is follows that this person never really cared for them. People who care/love each other do not seek to destroy each other. With that thought, the carefully constructed false reality is shattered. And each person is forced to move on in life, leaving Arizona behind.

"Finally she tells them don't you know

There is no Arizona"

The reality is that there never was an "Arizona". Once you realize that fact, it is a whole lot easier to face life and your next steps.


“Can you honestly love a dishonest thing?”
― John Steinbeck,
   
You cannot love anyone that does not love themselves enough to be honest..........

....compliments from the very moments of my life......I wish someone had laid it out for me......


Just another day in paradise.....

Irrational Fears...How Do YOU Deal?

Okay, I have a confession to make. I carry around this irrational fear and frankly I cannot stand it. And when I say I "carry this irrational fear around", I mean it almost dictates my every move in some areas of my life. I am secure enough to say it, I am a little crazy some times...( I think we all are or can be given the right surrcomstances) but this drives me bonkers!

So what is my fear......really I have a couple of irrational fears but the one that really troubles me/tickes me off is as follows:

I am afraid something terrible is going to happen to my Jacie (my 6 year old daughter) and when it does, she is going to die.

(I know this is one of those situations where it isn't appropreiate but you want to laugh anyway, go ahead I won't judge!)

Some may know where this little idea got planted into my head and really how it get there is not the point. The point is, even when it comes time to disapline Jacie for something she has clearly done wrong, I have a hard time. Literally the thought runs through my mind, if she dies, will I be upset I had to do this? This is ridiculous! Believe you me, I know it is. It is totally irrational. Jacie is a healthy little girl full of life & it is not like I am abusive to her, she is made or should be made to follow the rules just like the other million kids we have. Yet, I cannot stop this fear or the way it tries to run my life with Baby J. I just do not know how to stop fearing she will one day leave us.

(Believe me when I say The Man Up Stairs knows all too well about this fear I have about losing Jacie. I talk to Him about it all the time. Sometimes I feel like He is trying to tell me she will be fine because literally she has been one of the healthiest children I have after her trying to die twice in her first year of life that is. Giving it up to Him is the only way I can deal with it at all, that is how big it is to me.)

What other irrational fears do I have you say? Well, there is this glaring one......

I have this stupid irrational fear that I am going to be adult napped while out running.

So friggin ridiculous, I know. I think it may come from being a little more into watching crime shows than I should be, but again, that is not the point. I would let this silly fear stop me from running (which I find pretty theraputic) because I really did not want to be adult napped. The only way I got over this issue was to start running with my new dog Piper. She is a barker and freaks when anyone gets near us. So I would know if something were about to happen or if someone should get too close. I am not ashamed to say I would love to have a bigger dog that some found scary to run with....but Piper does the job. At least I figured out how to beat this one!  

Am I strange or do people have irrational fears from time to time? It is certainly possible that I am strange so I am open to that concept. If you have an irrational fear, what is it & how do you deal with it?

Just Another Day in Paradise......

Parenting of Athletic kids....Oh where to begin

I was an athlete....and not a game went by that I did not look up into the stands and see my parents there cheering me on, encouraging me, and frankly doing some coaching from the stands. (nothing crazy but you know, they knew their stuff!) It was important to me that I feel that support, that I felt like no matter what, there was someone in MY corner. And that my friends, is what a normal parent of sports playing kids do......so why does this seem so difficult for so many? In my humble opinion, youth sports today is a bit out of control.....

My kids play a mered of sports. Soccer, football, baseball, basketball, volleyball, dance, you name it, they have played it. And being into sports, coaching, and the like, I am just as into it as most parents. We go to the practices and watch and listen and take the lessons home to work on their game. Anything we can do to help them succeed is our J O B, right? But that is where it ends. We give them the tools, coaching, and advice they need while showing all the support we can in their cheering section. But we do not try to play the game for them, or become violent/crazy when things do not go our child's way. (if you doubt this happens, you have not been to a Texas football game, especially in the playoffs. Attend one and you will be a believer!)

It seems so many forget the ESPN is not at this rec league game filming for the next blue chipper. While I do admit, connections are made at the little league/rec league level that can help your child later, nothing good enough for extreme behavior. I have witnessed parents being physically removed from the stands by the POLICE for their behavior. I have witnessed 10 & 11 year olds being removed from the game for cussing out the ref. I have seen coaches physically removed from the game by officials and or police. All in the name of what? At the end of the day, they are kids and this is a game, and we are all teaching children how to behave in what I think is likely one of the most influential situations they have faced thus far in their young suburban lives.

Being shaped by coaches and parents that coached me for years, I know just how influencing a coach & league's philosophy is on a child. I have lived it & I know there were times I would have done a lot to have my coaches approval. Time might have moved on, but that want/need for their coaches approval has not changed. I think this is especially true for boys.

I have watched some of my son's coaches flounder and quit. I had to explain to my son that quitting is not an option in life. You muscle on, you identify the problem and you address it, you realize your part in the situation, but you never quit.

I have also watched some of my son's coaches also demand respect, demand attention, praise for good, push when 100% wasn't being given, and pray with the boys at the end of every practice and game. Those men, they were exactly what I wanted for my son to want to please. Salt of the Earth those men......

And I would see my son bring those lessons he learned in sports home into his every day life. You say YOU as the parent is the biggest influence in your child's life and I would agree most of the time. That is how it should be. But I also know there are key times in their lives that sports & coaches can take that spot for a hot minute.

At the end of the day, you have to be careful as a parent in what you are allowing to drive your child regarding sports. We all want to win, but you should want to do that in the right way, and everyone should remember we are teaching children how to handle the real world through their games. Play as a team, have your brother's back, give 100% every single minute, never quit, never give up, respect your coaches, realize there are bad teams out there but winning with class is the ultimate revenge, be a good sport & when you knock someone down help them up...it is just a game, don't take yourself too seriously, laugh & have fun, work hard & commit...literally I could go on & on. Those sound like sports lessons, but they all translate into life lessons. And we have to be sure of who is teaching those life lessons. That part is our job.

Additionally, as a parent I think we all have to step back and realize you cannot make them do it or what it FOR them. I was talking to my Daddy about my son one day (many moons ago) about what I felt like was his lack of competitive attitude. I told him all about the ways I had tried to promote my son's competitive side to fire up but nothing really seemed to light that fire and keep it lit. I will never forget my Daddy looking at me and saying "honey you were super competitive and mad as hell when you did not win. But that was not something we gave you. You have always been that way. It is not something you can make him do. He has to want it badly for himself. And until he does, nothing you say or do is really going to matter"...Seriously? Yep, Daddy was right. (and yes that almost fired up my competitive side to see IF I COULD make him want it....I will admit my competitive nature can be a little out of bounds sometimes! But I knew my Daddy was right.....) So I backed off. I praised the hard work and was there to workout right beside him when he decided he DID want it that much. But my son did that. He made that decision and he did it. Not me. I think as parents it can be hard to back off, but so many times, that is exactly what is warranted.

I know it is hard. Walking this thin line of pushing your child to realize their talent and burning them out, it certainly can be a tight rope. And sometimes we parents of athletic kids are going to stumble into the dark side. It happens. (Lord knows I have had to be pulled back to the straight & narrow a time or two) But I think knowing what lessons your kid is being taught and by who, surrounding them with good and talented people, and knowing your role in the situation is a way of building a good parameter.

(I will admit to praying to God for my son's football team to demolish the other team in the playoffs a time or two. I might also admit to wanting to cry hysterically when we finally lost. Invested is what I like to call it, but to some I am sure it is a little much. Thank goodness I kept that mostly between me and the Big Man upstairs. See, safety net!)

Just another day in paradise......

Vegan?? Seriously?? YEP!

First, straight out of the shoot, I have to tell you I am an animal lover and an animal eater and that is what I have always been.....I was brought up on good ol' southern values and good ol' southern cooking. You had your meat, starches and veggies with some tea and bread. And that was good eaten! And likely, that is the very idea that landed me where I was healthwise.

A little health back ground......

My eating habits have never been what most consider "normal". When I turned 7, I all the sudden had these very severe food allergies. At the time the doctors basically said they did not know why I developed these life threatening allergies out of the blue. (which has always puzzled me, how could they have absolutely no idea? But then again, Medical Freak could have been my middle name!) I had two typed pages of foods that I could no longer eat. It was strange to say the least and it made for some interesting birthday parties...(I could not have flour, eggs, milk...you know the yummy stuff that is in all birthday goodies!) But as we all do, you adapt. My mom changed how we ate some what and we moved on. As I got older, the allergies became a little less severe, but they never fully went away as the allergist said they would. I always dealt with them in some way or another.

I have had my appendix removed when I was 24.

I was in the ER with what I was certain was a gallbladder attack at the age of 34. I did not have gallbladder stones so I was promptly sent home without further investigation.

Fast forward to last year.....

I got really sick in 2012. With what though? That is still debatable. All the sudden I was exhausted in ways I have never been exhausted before. I live a fast paced life, as most of you would expect with a million and one kids, a job, and a lovely husband, but this was no normal wear and tear. I was almost paralyzed with exhaustion that stopped me from living my life practically. I would feel sick, but never actually come down with anything. (you know how you feel when you are about to get a cold or something similar, but I felt that way all the time) And seemingly out of the blue as well, I began to get terrible migraines. I had never had a migraine in my life, nor was I someone that dealt with frequent headaches. (lucky duck, yeah I know) But now it was an almost daily issue. What the heck was wrong with me?

I went to my general doctor and he ran about a million and one blood tests. And the only thing that he could find was that I had Mono about 3 months ago. That fit and it did not fit. It explained some of the symptoms but did not explain why I felt worse as time went on instead of better. He told me either I was depressed (oh, you just wait...my blog/rant on how easily doctors treat so called depression without much cause & why I think only psychiatrist should be able to prescribe these meds is coming= stay tuned!) or I was getting over Mono. He sent me packing with an ADHD med script for energy and what felt like a kick in the pants.

Then, here I was again, rolling around in such severe pain, I was sweating. The so called "not a gallbladder attack" pain was back. This time the hospital took me a little more seriously. They admitted me. I spent the entire weekend in the hospital on heavy pain meds while they found nothing. Seriously? From then on I really could not eat without pain.

I went to a gastrologist about a week later. She reviewed the hospital tests and told me again she did not think it was my gallbladder either. She basically told me she thought my intestines had the flu. (did you know that was possible? Nope, me either) I asked how that explained the same thing happening about a year earlier. I got that blank stare which told me she really did not know either. She wanted to do about a million dollars worth of painful tests, I decided just not eating was easier.

Okay, now we have reached the vegan part of this blog. (about time huh? Blame my Daddy, he is long winded & I think it is genetic)

I went without eating for a while but that really was not solving all the issues. I still dealt with the migraines almost daily and my digestive pain was still there. I had pretty much stopped eating meat during this time. Still the issues persisted. Then I came across someone talking about eating vegan and BAM! LIGHT BULB went on! It is very possible all these food/digestion issues are all tied back into some strange type of food allergy. It is really the only possibility that made sense as I kept thinking about it. Maybe any other issue I had (gallbladder pain) was derived from this allergy. Why not try to eat vegan and see what happens?

Thus began my vegan journey. Now, ***disclaimer*** I do not claim to be a vegan expert. I am a vegan beginner. I do not eat meat, which is really not an issue. I hadn't been eating meat for quite some time. But now I also do not eat meat by products either. So that means no eggs, milk, cheese, butter, and a million other things I am still learning. It really is not that hard, especially when you have kind of been beaten up by food or your body's reaction to food already. The incentive is there to make it work. But, I have not been perfect by any means. Which I think is likely the beginning stages when you are changing your life's eating habits.

The first couple of weeks were tough. I was still so dang tired! And my stomach/digestive track still hurt but I could tell the pain was lessening daily. So, thanks to the power of Google, I figured out I was not eating enough of some foods, thus the - you want to workout, yeah we aren't doing that, sorry no energy, try again later - internal conversations. But as time went on, it all got easier.

The best thing was, I could eat. And eventually I had no pain. And what do you know, my migraines have reduced to almost nothing as well!

I am not only doing the vegan lifestyle, I am also going completely gluten free. Our lives have already been gluten free, for the most part. At home, I guess I should say, we are gluten free due to my kids having Celiac Disease. But when away, stupid me would play with flour! I would roll around in gluten filled yumminess. Okay, maybe I would not stray that wildly but you get the picture. We have determined my Scottish genetics is where the girls get their gluten allergy/intolerance from so it makes sense that gluten likely affects me in some way as well. We have wondered if my migraines were from a gluten sensitivity. (mostly because when my daughters were so sick with celiac, before we knew, they both complained almost daily about terrible headaches) And since I have changed my life to vegan & gluten free, my head is almost my own again. (migraines steal your head & turn it into a place you no longer want to be....doubt me, live with daily migraines. You will do almost anything to make it stop.) I say almost because I am not a 100% migraine free yet, although I do believe that is coming...my body has to heal itself first.

It is all working....I feel good, I feel healthy, I am living my life again.

This is how I solved my problem. I am not saying it is the answer for everyone. And it is not like my house has gone vegan. My teenage son would likely pass out if you told him there was not another whaterburger #1 in his immediate future. But it is working for me. I think too often we accept what people say about our health and just stay in the same unhealthy place. Keep looking, your answer could be just a click away......

So, what do I eat....that is the question I get a lot.....

The Morning Star spicy bean burger patty is the best thing I have possibly ever eaten..well maybe not the very best but you know, it's pretty dang good! Of course I eat fruits & veggies...salad with vinaigrette & all the veggies I can get in it with some kidney beans, Naked Juice in the AM, potato tacos on corn tortillas, hot sauce & corn chips, Larabars, rice, Chinese all veggie plates, GF pasta with tomato sauce.....I could go on and on....there are a lot of recipes on the net. (stay away from the vegan cookies...talk about YUCK! At least I have yet to find one that was actually consumable) But just so you know, I eat more than I ever did before "the change". And my body is changing...

Tackled vegan & gluten....what's next??


Just another day in paradise.....