This might start out a little bit cheesy, but stay with me, I am going somewhere.....
"He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona
Underneath the blue never ending sky, swore that he was gonna
Get things in order, he'd send for her
When he left her behind, it never crossed her mind
There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona"
There is no Arizona and man it was a while before I realized that much. Here I was, an relatively intelligent and educated woman and I bought the Arizona line over and over from men. How in heck did that happen? I can tell you how......but let's not skip to the end.
My "Arizona" came in several forms from a couple of really good, lying, and selling men. I was promised a million things that just never seemed to happen. But the excuses, they were good.
"Where did this money go?
Well, Jack needed some money so I lent it to him. I am not sure when he will be able to
get it back to us, but I am sure he will. "
All sounds up to par right? NO, OH MY GOD NO! It is not okay. Life long liars are good because they dial into what makes up the person they are selling Arizona to and then they exploit that fact. They turn what makes you up, how your personality ticks (so to speak), and what is in your heart (like always wanting to help others in their time of need) into their personal grab bag of "how to lie to you". It is a little fascinating actually. Pathological liars are quick reads of people and their personalities. In no time flat, they know you and how to get one over on you. If only they would use their "talents" for good instead of evil.....
But eventually all liars are found out, especially by the people close to them. It is hard to lie your butt off daily and remember all the lies. They break down and get caught. Inconsistency is their kriptonite. So how do these liars maintain relationships with the very people that frequently catch them in their tales?
Well, the answer is easy.....
Liars are able to maintain relationships because the other person wants to believe them. It is that simple. The "other person" 's actions of writing the lies off or excusing the behavior is nothing more than their will to want to believe what this liar is telling them is actually true. And that action says more than them than the liar. It usually means they have personal issues, such as self esteem issues or other issues that prevent them from walking when they realize the first time they are in a relationship with someone that cannot be honest. (sounds like I know what I am talking about huh?? You could say I am well versed in the subject) And, as we all are told our entire lives, without honesty (which equals trust) then you have nothing. If you know you have nothing, then what are you hanging onto?
The problem almost every dishonest person faces is that the "other person" finally is forced to face themselves, how they have been dishonest with their own self, and ultimately face that the liar never truly was what they believed. Nothing was real. And if nothing was ever real, then is follows that this person never really cared for them. People who care/love each other do not seek to destroy each other. With that thought, the carefully constructed false reality is shattered. And each person is forced to move on in life, leaving Arizona behind.
"Finally she tells them don't you know
There is no Arizona"
The reality is that there never was an "Arizona". Once you realize that fact, it is a whole lot easier to face life and your next steps.
“Can you honestly love a dishonest thing?”
― John Steinbeck,
You cannot love anyone that does not love themselves enough to be honest..........
....compliments from the very moments of my life......I wish someone had laid it out for me......
Just another day in paradise.....
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