The dreaded 20th high school reunion.
Ugh…. I have to say, yes I’ve had a million kids (many within a year of each
other) and some would see that as an excuse for the state of my body. But let’s
be real here for a minute (we’re friends like that right?), it has now been 9
years since I had my last child. I should look a hell of a lot better than I
do. So, what happened? Well, a lot.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I was an
athlete my entire life. I played sports year round all the way through my life
until high school ended. I actually had no problem maintaining my high school
body up until my first child. So it is not like the end of my sports life
signaled the beginning of me being out of shape. I had OCD like rules for my
eating habits and I worked out a lot. It worked for me. Then I got pregnant
with my first child.
Boy howdy, I decided I was pregnant and that was
it. It was my J O B to eat. Forget all my eating rules and exercise routine.
Time for some couch and some McDonalds. (what can I say? I was young and dumb …a
mere 22 when I was PG) I ended up gaining 60 pounds during this first
pregnancy. Oy! Two things came together to help me drop the baby weight &
then some though. My husband left my fat butt. Talk about motivation. And I was
young. My body basically bounced back with a strict regimen of lifting and
kickboxing 4 times a week. (I had some “issues” to work out that kickboxing
really worked on! It kept me pretty damn calm during those stressful days!)
I got waaaay back into working out. I fell so hard
for the gym and actually for running during this time. It was very confidence
building in a time that I truly needed that exact thing.
Signal pregnancy number two. I gained 50 pounds
during this round. I actually did very well until I got put under a no workout
restriction. This pregnancy was fraught with issues from day one due to me
having cervical pre-cancerous cells that had spread when I got pregnant. It was
an insane time. I also was married again to an abusive asshole. I was depressed
and it showed.
I never really bounced back as before.
I had two more pregnancies each within a year of
each other. My body and mind just never seemed to recover. Depression reined.
After I left my then husband, I was the single mom
of a 6 year old, a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and a 7 week old baby. My hands
and head were full. I hardly slept. And my body seemed to be reeling from so much going on for a few years to come. But I did fall for the gym again.
Getting there consistently was a whole other matter. Have you ever taken a herd
of toddlers to the gym nursery? Insanity!
I finally got into the entire nutrition aspect of
the let’s get this body back game. I would just starve myself before. And I
have to say, this worked for the most part. But I wanted to actually be
healthy, inside and out.
Now, after years of abusing myself physically and
mentally, I am finally in a healthy place. I do ridiculous amounts of research
and I keep tweaking my eating plan and my workouts until I see the results I
want. But doing what is good for my body is my ultimate goal. One I will
continue to reach for.
So, the body I brought to my 20 year reunion was
not the body I wanted everyone to see. But, I can say I am proud of where I am
and where I am going.
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