The Story of "Us" :) (blog intro)

I get so many people telling me no one could write what is real life for me & my family. So I decided to share some of our life. That begs the question then, who are we? Let's start with my marriage....

My husband, Joey, and I have been married for not much more than a hot minute. (that means a little more than a year in case you were wondering) I guess we should start at the beginning......We actually went to school together most of our lives in a smallish town but never really interacted. He was the boy with long purple hair & I was the book smart athlete...you could say that is worlds apart in high school life! I went on to marry at 21 and so did he. That did not work out well for either of us, both being divorced roughly twoish years later. He had two boys in that marriage about a year apart, Josh & Jon. I had my son, Dalton.

 Then again in our midish twenties, we both saddled up & married again. (what can we say, hopeless romantics!) I married someone I knew in high school (although we did not go to school together). It was a disaster from the beginning. I never even legally changed my name to his because I think I knew it was over before it ever began. Without getting too far into it (because I will in later blogs) it was a highly abusive marriage.....in every sense of the word. I am stubborn though and thought I could change it, I could solve it, I could mend what was broken this time...I couldn't. Joey dated someone on & off for years and then married when she got pregnant. He was being sent overseas in the Army and wanted them to be taken care of while he was away. He also knew it would not work. When he returned from overseas, she had moved on and so he was forced to as well. I had three girls in my marriage, Alli, Kaylee, and Jacie. Joey had a daughter as well named Emilee.

Whew! I know what you are thinking, who in their right minds would ever marry again? Believe me, we both thought the exact same thing! Neither of us could even think of being married to anyone again. It was not something we hated, but we both just thought for what ever reason, marriage was not for us. Boy, would those thoughts change! Hang on, it is a bumpy ride but also fun....

I moved upon separating from my second ex. Here I was, a single mom of 7 year old, 2 year old, 1 year old and a 3 month old. I did not have time to breathe much less anything else. Those days were tough as most of my kids also had crazy illnesses. I could not imagine anyone loving me this way. And for some of the time, I could not have cared less. My plate was full. I needed to learn to love ME again. I needed time to figure out I was worth true love, from myself and from everyone else. It was a process....I went to therapy, I read, I developed my faith, I prayed, and I concentrated on being the best mom I could. But, for some of the other time, I was intensely lonely. It was work, home, gym, bed...rinse and repeat. I did not have people to talk to that could relate as all my friends were married and happy. They had either lives and me and all my craziness was overwhelming for me so it certainly was too much for them. But I did start connecting with people online. I knew I could do this when it was convenient for me (which was late at night seeing as I had a terrible bout of insomnia for years during this time). I decided to at least make a lot of friends online and reconnect with long lost friends. Man, it is funny how what you think are small decisions turn out to be the biggest ones ever....

Joey also moved upon separating from his second ex. That brought him back to his hometown. Here he was, right out of the Army and back from Germany and a little lost. He went to work, rode his motorcycle,was a weekend Dad, and knew he wanted something more in life. What was it though? He fell back into old friendships and spent a lot of time out at night doing what single men do. He also spent time online talking to old friends or keeping in contact with people in the military.

Then one night Joey sent me a message on Facebook. It was very tame, the typical "hey, how are you doing, do you remember me?" type of message. I did remember him (even though he looked very different!). My response was something just as typical back "yeah, hey, how are you? We should have a beer some time, here is my number" And BAM, we were off. We have spoken to each other a million times a day every since that moment.

We found a million moments in life we both had lived. It was nothing short of amazing. I will not bore you with all the details, just know we kept repeating the phase "yes, I know exactly what you are saying because I have done or felt the exact same thing." It was like finding a gem in what felt like the garbage. We both found comfort in someone finally understanding us and liking every single thing about us. I often say it was divine intervention and it took him a while to believe, but now he does....

So, now we are fully in love, but we both have these highly complicated lives. It is not easy to relate just how complicated our lives were or how difficult it was for us to even date much less anything else. We did not have a lot of time together so much of our relationship was cultivated via text & calls. It made a huge difference I believe.

After months, we decided the kids should meet at a park where we "friends" just happen to run into each other. It was difficult to pretend we barely knew each other, but it was important the kids make their own decisions about not only the other person, but the other kids too. How they got along would be a big factor. Little did we know there was little to worry about.....the kids gravitated towards each other at the park without even an introduction. It was all smiles and fun as far as they were concerned. And Joey and I could not have been more relieved. Now we could spend more time together with all the kids (still as friends).

Time moved on and our relationship moved on with it. We were so happy together. It was nothing short of amazing to be in a relationship with your very best friend. I will not say we did not have our bumps in the road, we did. It was not easy to figure it all out, us & then the kids, but I always said if we were fine, a solid foundation, then the kids would be fine. He always said we were in this together, no matter what. Always & forever....it was our theme. And we lived it as much as possible.

We lived together with my four kids and his coming on the weekends and we were happy. We felt like we lived in this happiness bubble and we did not want anything to change or our wonderful bubble might pop. We were not even considering getting married. We lived life for each other and our ubber active kids, we were filled with joy. Nothing needed to change as far as we were concerned.

My kids called Joey daddy...they were not in touch with their biological fathers and Joey stepped into that role so smoothly. It was a wonder to watch them fall in love with him. The sight definitely made my heart swell. And I think it made Joey feel a level of acceptance he never fully had before. We were a real family and we felt like the lucky ones..

We often said that if we were to marry again, it would be with each other, but nothing was broken so why change anything?? We were both just scared to tell the truth. Marriage had not brought anything positive to our past relationships, why would it now? But little did we know that would soon change....

One day Joey was at school trying to get something very serious straightened out for Kaylee.The school said they would not speak to him because legally he was not her father or step father. He called me and said we were getting married and the sooner the better. No one was going to tell him he was not the kids' father. He took care of them, he tucked them in every single night, he loved them, we were a family. Thus began our marriage journey.

We met on the 13th, we were engaged on the 13th, and were married on October 13th. We only wanted a justice of the peace ceremony, just us. It was all about us and we did not want anyone else between that, between us.We got married and I went onto work. It might have been uneventful to some, but it was everything to us.

Fast forward to now.....

I work and Joey is a student and a full time Daddy. We could not be happier about what we feel like life has in store for us.

Joey's two sons moved with their mother far away.

Dalton is 13 now and the back up man of the house. He is a great kid, living and loving life in junior high as big man on campus/football dude.

Alli is 9 and has come a long way. She has endured major medical issues (that I will get into more in future blogs) that have set her back in life but our relationship actually changed her life in unmeasurable ways.

Kaylee is 8 now and all over the map! She is amazing and truly athletic and our definite wild child. She keeps us hopping and on our toes. We would not have it any other way.

Emilee is 7 now and still finding her way. Accepting the girls and the relationship Joey has with the girls has always been easy for her. But she has a much harder time with me and the relationship between Joey and I. She is getting there though, slowly but surely.

Jacie is now 6 and amazing. She is the baby of a large family which means she is taken care of by everyone. The more the merrier to her. She is the kindest soul. She was only 3 when Joey and I got together, she remembers little of life any other way. In that way, she is the lucky one.

Then there is one more adventure, Angel. He is a 14 year old friend of Dalton's. At least it started out that way. He is a special person to our family. He has a very special relationship with Joey and our entire family. We love him like blood, end of story.

That is the story of us. It serves as your introduction to our family. Stay tuned, there is soooo much more to come!

........ Just another day in paradise!!


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