Self Acceptance

I understand we all want acceptance, to fit in. It seems to be innate inside of us. To be accepted equals to be loved in the majority of people’s mind. But maybe the point truly should be to be accepted and loved by ourselves, to live your truest self. I think once you achieve that inter peace that only comes through the purest form of self-love, that is then what you project to others and what they love about you in return.

I spent the majority of my life very dependent on what others thought of me, to the point that I hated myself most of the time. I was so hard on myself. I was never smart enough, read enough books, thin enough, had pretty hair enough, I never was the best at my sport, or nice enough…. I could really go on and on. It lead me down a couple of dark paths.

First and foremost, I was not nice to my body. Eating disorder is not something you are supposed to talk about, but when you end up in the ER from complications of not eating, there is a real self-hate issue. It was bad and I still reel from it to this day….when I am very down, my mind first goes to starving myself. It is self-harm. It is sad. If only I could have loved who I was and could see what people who loved me could see.

Then, because I had such intense self-loathing issues, I attracted people that treated me the way I felt about myself. It was a very self-destructive never ending cycle. And it was lonely….

Most people that knew me growing up would have never guessed this about me. I tried endlessly to project this image of someone that had it together, someone that was scary strong and independent, someone that did not care what others thought of me. What a sham of a life I led. It was very exhausting.

Self-love is one of the most important lessons you will ever learn.

Slowly, I have learned to like myself most days and love myself much more than I ever did before my 30s. But that mostly came from 100% acceptance and love of another person. That intense acceptance eventually smashed all my pieces back together and made me whole again. And now I relish all the time I spent absolutely hating myself. I wish I could have it all back and do it over again. But I can’t.

Now if I don’t like something about myself, I understand completely I have the power to change it. I can work out to find the body I want. I can eat on a good healthy plan to avoid the pitfalls of my eating disorder. I can cut my hair how I want. I can work on my personality or I can accept I am stubborn and loud and opinionated, but I am also loving, and caring, and hard working. I can find a balance in it all.

So do what makes you feel the best about yourself. To hell with what others think. Live your best most authentic life. Accept who you are and what gifts you bring to this world. Don’t like something, change it. Project self-love truly and it will be reflected back at you. 

20th High School Reunion Body? Oh No!

The dreaded 20^th high school reunion. Ugh…. I have to say, yes I’ve had a million kids (many within a year of each other) and some would see that as an excuse for the state of my body. But let’s be real here for a minute (we’re friends like that right?), it has now been 9 years since I had my last child. I should look a hell of a lot better than I do. So, what happened? Well, a lot.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I was an athlete my entire life. I played sports year round all the way through my life until high school ended. I actually had no problem maintaining my high school body up until my first child. So it is not like the end of my sports life signaled the beginning of me being out of shape. I had OCD like rules for my eating habits and I worked out a lot. It worked for me. Then I got pregnant with my first child.

Boy howdy, I decided I was pregnant and that was it. It was my J O B to eat. Forget all my eating rules and exercise routine. Time for some couch and some McDonalds. (what can I say? I was young and dumb …a mere 22 when I was PG) I ended up gaining 60 pounds during this first pregnancy. Oy! Two things came together to help me drop the baby weight & then some though. My husband left my fat butt. Talk about motivation. And I was young. My body basically bounced back with a strict regimen of lifting and kickboxing 4 times a week. (I had some “issues” to work out that kickboxing really worked on! It kept me pretty damn calm during those stressful days!)

I got waaaay back into working out. I fell so hard for the gym and actually for running during this time. It was very confidence building in a time that I truly needed that exact thing.

Signal pregnancy number two. I gained 50 pounds during this round. I actually did very well until I got put under a no workout restriction. This pregnancy was fraught with issues from day one due to me having cervical pre-cancerous cells that had spread when I got pregnant. It was an insane time. I also was married again to an abusive asshole. I was depressed and it showed.

I never really bounced back as before.

I had two more pregnancies each within a year of each other. My body and mind just never seemed to recover. Depression reined.

After I left my then husband, I was the single mom of a 6 year old, a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and a 7 week old baby. My hands and head were full. I hardly slept. And my body seemed to be reeling from so much going on for a few years to come. But I did fall for the gym again. Getting there consistently was a whole other matter. Have you ever taken a herd of toddlers to the gym nursery? Insanity!

I finally got into the entire nutrition aspect of the let’s get this body back game. I would just starve myself before. And I have to say, this worked for the most part. But I wanted to actually be healthy, inside and out.

Now, after years of abusing myself physically and mentally, I am finally in a healthy place. I do ridiculous amounts of research and I keep tweaking my eating plan and my workouts until I see the results I want. But doing what is good for my body is my ultimate goal. One I will continue to reach for.

So, the body I brought to my 20 year reunion was not the body I wanted everyone to see. But, I can say I am proud of where I am and where I am going. 

Running.... Just Keep Running

Keep Running?

So, I started running again. I have never been someone that loves running. (even though I played sports my whole life & played basketball for 13 years…there is some running involved there…LOL) I have never been that person that pulls on their running shoes with glee and can’t wait to feel better while pounding the pavement. But I am trying that whole attitude on for size. I’ve heard it does a body good.

I got into running a while back. I have a very love/hate relationship with it. I love the feeling I get after I run. It makes me feel completely physically worn out afterwards. And, call me crazy, but I love that feeling. It makes me feel like I have put in the work and accomplished something. BOOM! WINNING! But I absolutely hate the first mile and the head game I get into each time. I try to take my mind some other place, but I end up so focused on how much it SUCKS in the moment. Ugh!

And there is another reason I have to talk myself into running…bare with me, it sounds a little crazy…but I have an illogical fear of being adultnapped while running. I watch too much ID Channel. So I got a dog specifically for running. My Beaux is half black lab & half german shepherd. He is completely black, huge, and looks very intimidating. (he’s actually very sweet) He loves running, and he makes me feel much safer. You do not often hear about women being abducted while running with their huge dogs. I know it sounds irrational, but what can I say? And while I run with him, I get to focus on him a bit which gets me out of my head. Beaux Beaux…he’s such a great running companion.

It helps me to set up a running schedule with planned out routes that I already know the mileage. Plan Plan Plan…. Then I feel like I have an appointment with my running that I must keep. It helps me to not skip it because it sucks, let’s be real. LOL!

I sign up for running events when I am trying to get back into running too. It gives me something to train towards. I am very competitive, and the knowledge that I will be dead last if I do not train motivates me. I don’t have to come in first, but I am not going to be the suckiest! Hey, whatever works!

So back into the running world I go….watch out for me turning up on the news, missing running lady’s dog found wondering around without her. Ugh…

Because I want to look like this.....

Home Gym, Yeah it IS Possible

Home gym, yeah it IS possible

I have long been a gym lifer. I friggin love being at the gym (I am a huge people watcher so that comes into play). I feed off of competing with whoever is working out next to me (yes, if you are next to me, we are in a serious competition, believe it!). And of course all the nice equipment, gym selfie mirrors, and sharing other people’s sweat. Yep, I adore the gym. But what I have a hard time doing is carving out the time to be there. Work + 5 kids + husband in school at night = NO TIME to be away from the house.

So the answer was to build our home gym in our garage. In what is way less expensive than what I thought, we have most of what you need to get a serious workout in daily. How? Piece by piece people.

We maintained our gym memberships while we slowly got the main parts needed to get a pump on at home. We started with the weight bench that included squat & leg press capabilities. Then we got free weights, punching bag, huge tractor tires to flip & pull X 2 (got those for free! Just hit up your nearest tire company that services big tires. They will willingly give you the big tires that can no longer be used!) elliptical, stair climber, mats, medicine ball, etc… you get the picture. Pretty much the basics everyone needs.

The equipment isn’t the best. It certainly isn’t all gym grade stuff, but it works and that works for me.

We got a lot of it from Academy. We also got some of the pieces from ebay (my husband is a huge ebayer) and Craigs List (elliptical!!) which has really helped to keep the cost down. Then you can always get things like sandbags to do weighted carries with (you have to cover it in duct tape though or the bags leak sand everywhere! NICE! L).

All we need is a pull up bar mounted to the ceiling and some jump boxes (in the works right now) and we would be our own little crossfit gym!

Once we got what we felt like we needed, we dropped our gym memberships. Kind of a sad day for me. No more secret competitions. But I have since learned to push myself harder. So yay! Winning! LOL

We are always looking to add to our gym. Jump boxes, more free weights, my football playing son wants a smith machine, etc. So it will likely never be done, but it works and we love it.

Now if I could only figure out how to NOT referee the kid’s arguments while I am trying to make gains, I would be a completely happy #girlswholift / mom! 

Too Much Estrogen, huh?!?!?

Little bit of a different blog post here…..

I usually talk about fitness and throw some truths in while also laughing. It’s the way I like to write. But this time, it’s going to be a little bit more serious (maybe).

Little health background on me:

I have long suffered from damn near debilitating fatigue. It started not long after the doctor said I had mono. I never actually had mono the illness but my blood work showed I had had mono about 3 months prior. It seemed like a strange diagnoses but I went with it. After all, he is the doctor and I am just some professional accountant who looks at too much webmd. So the fatigue carried on and I was told to assume it would get better over time.

Yeah, no, it did not get better over time.

It was about this time I got very into fitness. I have always been an athlete, but got lazy in the midst of having 4 kids (almost in a row). So I started eating better (went vegan for a year). And I spent time trying to figure out what combo of nutrition and workouts would work best for me to lose weight while retaining and building muscle. But my body would not lean out, no matter how I trained. (muscle changes, but the weight was still there.) 

I also started suffering from hair loss, migraines, cold like symptoms (on and off …relentlessly), strange menstrual cycle issues, and acne. (Hello?!?! I am in my 30s, acne?) There are likely some symptoms I am missing, but those were the major ones that went with the never ending fatigue.

Finally, about three years later…..the answer I have been looking for….

I am estrogen dominate. That is what is causing all these issues. Who knew the hormonal imbalance I was experiencing could cause so many other things to go wrong?!?!?

I eat things daily that help balance my hormones. I take DIM (which is found in things like broccoli) which has made a huge difference in helping me feel balanced and “normal”. I have so much more energy. I don’t constantly feel like I am on the edge of sleep at any given moment. And I am already seeing the effects of all my hard work in the gym.

It is nothing less than a-freakin-mazing!

I am also getting checked out with imaging by my doctor to make sure there is no reason I am so estrogen dominate. This is key here people. (not the same doctor that told me I had mono and I would get over it, obviously)

Ladies, if you are having multiple symptoms with no seeming connecting factors, have your hormonal balance checked. It could bring new light to your life!

Things My Fitness Journey has Taught Me....

The things that my fitness journey have taught me…

YOU CAN & YOU WILL…. No matter how badly something hurts or how much it sucks or how much doubt you build up in your head, you can. Then, when you do, never doubt your badass again.

It IS possible to workout & cry at the same time…who knew.

They aren’t looking at you, they could care less. Sometimes, because being on your journey makes you feel a little vulnerable, you think people care what you look like while running or lifting. They don’t…just don’t fall down, that they will stare at. #TRUTH

Those are free weights, they won’t bite you! And you can learn how to lift them in a million different ways. (hint: youtube!)

Go for a run before you bite their heads off. It all works out better in the end.

Skipping your workout whilst eating chocolate cheese cake will make you feel guilty. CHEATER!!

Flexing in the mirror when no one is looking and actually seeing that little muscle coming along WILL make you feel like wonder woman! Keep going princess of power!

Working yourself into a sweaty mess is all worth it when you post an awesome gymselfie! LOL ….but seriously…

You should never wear light grey workout pants/shorts. Sweaty ass = looking like you peed yourself. Just don’t do it.

Take a hard class at your gym… those other girls sucked at this class once upon a time too. Most of them are rooting for you to make it through….

Putting on boxing gloves and going to town on the punching bad will make you feel better. Sometimes you just have to beat the hell out of something. It works. Trust me.

Some people are yoga people and some people aren’t. That shit is hard, don’t fool yourself!

Having your own mini gym at your house IS cool….until your 5 kids pick your workout time to talk to you or fight endlessly with each other.

No matter what, pull on those workout clothes, drink that preworkout and just do it. Get shit done. LIKE A BOSS! 

Let's Be Honest....

Okay, let’s be honest here…..

I’ve had to sit back and take a seriously look at why I am still fat. (you know fat, not PHAT which means something totally different!) What is happening in my life? I mean I am addicted to Instagram. And I see all these transformations that happen in like 4 to 8 weeks. WTF am I doing wrong? Where is my banging ass body in 12 weeks? Huh?

Here is what I think I am doing oh so wrong….

Let’s start with my eat plan…. Actually it would likely be more accurate to say what eating plan at this point. I was doing protein/veggies/fruit for each meal (some brown rice or sweet potato after leg days) with two snacks of nuts or protein in between meals (if hungry). Well, that is not what I have been sticking to lately. Cheat meals have turned into TREAT YOUR SELF every single day. Yeah, that is not going to get rid of this fat. So, it has to go. No more cheating and a lot more sticking to the plan.

More water of course…. Yadda yadda yadda….

Now the fitness plan….I am sucking at a couple of things here.

A.    Going through the motions. I can say I have not been fully focused in on each workout or each rep. I am guilty of punching my gym time slot and calling it a day. That is not going to get me to my goals.

BE MORE PRESENT DURING GYM SESS

B.    Cutting my lifting sets short. I think I will use mental fatigue here, but I have been cutting my sets short instead of slowly building up my volume. Not going to help at all. I’ve got to get out of my own head and stay with the program.

C.   Cutting my cardio short. Talk about going through the motions until I just feel like giving up. Man, I have been sucking at getting all my cardio in every day. I am trying to lose weight so the daily cardio is where that is going to happen.

FINISH STRONG

D.   My gym sessions have felt like a job, not the relief from it all like it usually has been to my life. I have to remember my health and feeling good in my own skin is very important. It touches every other part of my life.

BE HAPPY YOU ARE ABLE

E.    Not remembering that being healthy is 100 % my responsibility. Being healthy or unhealthy is not something that just happens to you, you have control over it completely. Time to remember who is in control here.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR OUTCOMES

These tweaks will make a huge impact on my overall outcome. I E: how fat or not fat I am.

If only all yummy food was either actually good for you or didn’t taste so friggin yummy.

A girl can dream…..

Holidays Make Me Cheat! :/

Holidays make me cheat!

I love a good holiday weekend with my family as much as the rest of you. I mean what is not to love, more time to sleep the F in!! (sweet precious sleep! I only sleep about 5 hours a night during the week so any extra sleep I get is like winning the damn lottery!) But why oh WHY does the holiday weekend also make me cheat on my eating plan? (these holiday weekends have me like “eating plan shmeating plan!” LOL!) And yes, I do mean MAKE me cheat…lord knows I would never knowingly cheat myself. It is all a force of holiday nature!

So this past weekend I ate pancakes. Well maybe I should clarify, they were gluten free pancakes, but still syrup was all over the plate. And I quickly sopped up any syrup excess with my numerous pieces of bacon. Then we had a birthday so I ate two, count them TWO cupcakes. Tacos, and refried beans were also in the mix. Totally ridiculous! I am pretty sure I could go on….. at least when we went bowling I managed to have a salad…. I think the greens were a shock to my system at that point!

I do better with routine. I eat pretty much the same things on the same schedule every day. Throw a holiday weekend and time at me and apparently I throw in the eating plan towel!

I’ve said I am laser focused on my fitness goals but I think I must say that in a “fake it until you make it” type of way. What else could it be?

No more holidays for me for a while for the love of sweet baby Jesus!!

Sometimes I Just Don't Want To.....

Sometimes, I just don’t want to…..

Sometimes no amount of, “come on…this is good for you! You will feel better, look better, be more healthy, and build a better body” internal pep talks make me want to work out. I cannot be alone in this inner debate. Admit it, sometimes you just don’t want to either.

#thestruggleisreal

Sometimes I get stressed out by the mere thought of still having my work out to do at the end of my day. I am a night worker… to be honest, I am a night person period. But being a working mom/wife of a million kids, at night, on my time, is the only time I have. And I find myself pulling on my work out clothes thinking about how much this all sucks and I just don’t want to.

#thissucks

Sometimes I feel like none of this is working anyway and this whole “some progress is progress, keep going” crap is just that, crap. So I should just lay down in my bed that loves me and relax with a book, my hubby, and our puppies. After all, it has been a long day.

#mybedlovesme

 Sometimes I think, you’re fat. Some people are just fat. You have a strong inner fat kid that refuses to die. Maybe that f’er deserves to live after all the ways you have tried to kill it. So just do not work out today.

#powertotheinnerfatkid

Sometimes I think, well, you ate about 4 small pieces of dark chocolate today. The eating plan is shot so why not give up entirely today and forget that dang work out? Seems logical

#darkchocolatecallstome

Sometimes, I just do not want to MOVE IT MOVE IT

#watchedtoomanykidmovies

But then I remember, these are all the reasons that you have to drag your ass to that gym, pump some heavy reps, and get some sort of cardio in. Because you will hate yourself if you don’t. This easy road is what got you to looking this way and feeling this way, remember that lady?

Sometimes you just don’t want to, but you do. And that is all that matters…..

Fitness Moms = Wonder Woman

Fitness moms…sometimes I think we deserve an award. Every single time we finish a workout, while dealing with the world’s problems through a child’s eyes, someone should magically appear with a trophy and a speech all about our fabulous worth. (I might be being dramatic here, sue me!)

I am sure some moms have it all together, scheduled and easy. I am not one of those moms. These are not excuses because I make it work regardless, but I think I identify with those moms that get it done in all kinds of F’ed up ways. Nothing in my house seems to go as planned, not usually any way. We have 5 crazy active kids. They are the best, but nothing about being a working mom of 5 kiddos is what I would call an easy walk in the park. I love it when people say, you just have to make yourself a priority. I am like where? Should I not get to work on time, or should I not spend time with my kids? Which one? LOL J So instead I sacrifice my sleep because those hours are the only ones that are actually mine. I want to be a sexy fitness badass so not sleeping is okay with me, but I am not about to sit here and make it seem like being a fitness mom is this yellow brick road of easy. (and yes, I wish bad things on those working mommies that make it all seem like cake! Not really….. well, mostly!)

I get up at 4:15 to get myself ready before I get the kids up & start their days which means that any type of fasted cardio is out of the question. I actually did lose my mind for a hot minute and tried fasted cardio at 3:30AM (AM people!) a few times. Yeah completely not worth it. I was exhausted by about 5PM which meant my pump session at 9PM either was a disaster or just did not happen. (awe friggin rats!) Some parts of trying to be a great fitness mommy are out of my reach. And I’ve had to come to terms with that fact.

But the few things I can control, I work hard to do so. I can control my nutrition. (still working on my simple carb control! I love love love stupid simple carbs! L) And I can control how consistent I am with my workouts, making the most of the time I have allotted. I do not skip workouts (although some are better than others! Let’s be honest!).

So if no one has told you fitness Moms just how Wonder Woman like you are for putting it all together daily, take it from someone in the trenches with you, YOU FRIGGIN RAWK! Keep on keeping on, you’ll get there!

Embrace the SUCK! :)

Finding what eating plan works for YOU sucks! Let’s be honest! Why can’t the exact same eating plan work for every single person, and the ones that can stay with the plan will be gloriously fit, ripped, toned, have muscle gains, or whatever your happy place in your body happens to be. Someone, please tell me why it cannot be just that simple!?

One of the problems in finding success in your eating plan is figuring out which “expert” plan/information to take on for yourself. With the internet, we have so much more information than ever before, which only seems to lead to mass confusion. One person says every serious dieter needs to be counting macros. Another “expert” will exclaim the paleo lifestyle is the only real way to stick to a plan lifelong. Others will say just count your calories, or take away carbs, or just watch your portions. On and on and on… until you are so confused, you just give up. It is a little bit insane….

Here is what I have learned from changing my diet about a million times….. LISTEN TO YOURSELF! Start a plan…which ever plan seems like it is doable (this is important. If it seems overwhelmingly undoable, then you will likely not stick to the plan. Like I cannot be told what I will eat for each meal. Those plans turn me off immediately. So I don’t even try to do those.) Get on that plan & stick with that damn thing like super glue! No varying off for at least 10 days. On day 10, hop on the scale to see what has happened. If you have lost weight, then great! You are lucky, this plan is working for you so keep on keeping on. If you have not lost weight (and you’ve been honestly sticking to it, glue remember?), then this is not the plan for you. Move onto something else. You could tweak it some or just try another “expert’s” eating plan.

I wanted to count macros. I did the endless research (because that shit is confusing when you first start!), had my macros calculated (like a million times to make sure I was getting common results) & started eating according to my macros. It was really tough. And I GAINED weight! Seriously!?!?! I will be honest, I was pissed! But really this plan was just not for me. (and yes, I am sure somehow I was screwing it up, but it doesn’t matter. That just further confirms it was not the plan for me!) Moving ON!

The only thing that has worked for me is to stick to eating: protein, veggies, & fruit. Period. I have my best results when I stick to eating this way. THANK YOU baby Jesus! Finally down pounds after being on a plateau for months (after losing 25 pounds)!

So embrace the suck & figure out what works for YOU! J

These are JUST Gym Clothes, Right?

“You should really think about investing in a pair of Lululumon pants”…..now, any time we are talking about workout clothes, and you throw in the word “invest”, you’ve lost me. These are clothes I get good and sweaty in right? I mean we are talking about the clothes I wipe my sweaty face off with or my hands when I find somehow in the middle chiseling a new bod, I’ve also picked up some crud & I wipe them off on my pants…right? We are talking about clothes for these dirty, sweaty activities? Then do NOT say the word invest, because I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!

Now, don’t get me wrong… I’ve heard the Lulu clothes are great and I am quite sure they are, but you will not find my sweaty fanny in them. I refuse to pay that much for clothes that frankly I would likely be too afraid to mess up while I am getting my pump on in my garage gym.

I love workout clothes. I always have. I would stay in workout clothes day in and day out if I could. And I do have quite the workout clothes collection (as any self- respecting gym rat should!) It is actually a little bit insane. But I probably have never paid more than $25 or any one piece. (usually a lot less actually) So, where do I get my clothes:

·         Academy is probably my number 1 go to place for workout gear. They have their own brand & I happen to love it! It is so much cheaper but it works great & lasts! (most pieces are $14-$24)

·         My next go to is actually regular t-shirts. I get great t-shirts that I love and then make my own edits to make them my clutch workout shirts. (you know edits: lose the sleeves, cut the neck, and lastly the bottom = bye bye)

·         Target! Who doesn’t L O V E  target’s workout section?

·         Ebay…yes I said ebay…I get some of the more expensive pieces I simply have to have on ebay. They are loads cheaper but you can get most with the tags still on! (this is where I get my really awesome sport bras for my lady lumps! Gotta support these babies the right way! lol )

Now this refers to the workout clothes…..my shoes are a whole other matter entirely. I actually DO spend money on my shoes. Gotta do it. The shoes can effect everything else – your feet, legs, back, shoulders…just every part of the bod. But I do get some of my shoes from the kids section because I have small feet which makes them, you guessed it, CHEAPER.

I love workout stuff, but invest likely will never be in my vocabulary.

 

 

Breaking the Habit....damn it!

Breaking the habit….. damn it!

 

I am what we call a serious creature of habit. It is strange and enclosing. I mean seriously, who can eat the same breakfast day in and day out AND kept the same job for 10 years through their entire 20s? No one! I am the type of person that likes things to be the same over and over. I think that makes me feel so wrapped in the softest blanket of safety. It is firm! No surprises. Habit can be so limiting though. And honestly, I just figured this out about me at the ripest of age, 38. Self awareness much? Or nah?

So how did I figure out my habitual habit issue? My f’ing workouts! I got a plan from a supposed trainer (it was an online trainer so who the hell knows what’s actually true!) And I have been doing it without giving it much thought since then. And my cardio doesn’t change much either. You hear people say all the time that in order to see great change, you have to become so freakishly uncomfortable as to create something super shiny brand new in yourself.  But that is a quote that is easy to say, harder to put into action. I like my workout plan. I like eating the same breakfast every single day. And right there is my warm fuzzy blanket syndrome. Let’s go lady, drop the blanket & step into the skimpy swimsuit! Okay? Hello!

I have to live my fitness journey more out of intent than habit. I intend to be awesomely fit. Therefore, I have to shake it all up. I have to keep the parts that are working to move me forward and drop kick the crap I do just to stay in my blankie! Time to really revamp it all. And see something so new in me. Which will eventually have me looking less like a 38 year old mom and hopefully more like my husband’s sexy ass wife = ageless!

Bye bye habits! (most of them anyway! Let's not get tooo crazy J )

My Fitness Journey is annoying, I know

My fitness journey is annoying me. I can only imagine how it annoys those around me. Everyone that is successful in their own journey to thin muscular perfection says you have to become obsessed to actually make it. And F me if that is not so damn true. What am I eating, what should I be eating, when should I eat it….what is my workout focus today…what should my focus be…when the F is this fat going to magically disappear? Jesus H Christ! Thus obsession is born.

Having a trainer is likely ideal, but I like to do things the hard way. (or I am too cheap to spend the money, which ever) So when I am not laser focused on my eating or my workouts, then I am pouring over websites and books to educate myself. Who knew this would be so tough? Especially at my age (10,000 years old!) When I was 23 I lost like 50 pounds after the birth of my first child. I stopped eating most things, didn’t eat after 6pm, lifted weights, and took kick boxing 3 days a week. BOOM! 50 pounds down, no thing. Um, Houston, we have a problem!

So I have decided what I am doing now is not working the way I would like it to, that means it is adjustment time. I am still going to lift on my split routine like I have been. I am still going to increase my volume and then my weight as I should. But now on my days off from lifting (Wednesdays and Saturdays) I am going to do an hour long cardio session instead of lifting more on those days like I have been. We will see if that increases my fat burning effects.

I have also enlisted the help of a dietitian. I got an eating plan for weightloss from her. I am going to follow this plan to the T. (at least 95% of the time anyway!) The plan has me eating lean proteins, veggies, and limited carbs (fruit and nuts mostly) This shit is going to F’ing work! Or I will be more annoying with more changes!

See! Obsessed and annoying. I know, I know….

FAT, get off my body already!!